My Voice Will Be Heard - A Survivor’s Story

Content Note: The following story is shared with the survivor’s full consent. It reflects real experiences of sexual violence and may include details that some readers could find upsetting or triggering.

Please take care while reading and only continue if you feel able. If you need support at any point, you are welcome to reach out to our Support Line. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

My Voice Will Be Heard - A Survivor’s Story

I didn’t grow up in safety. I grew up in survival.

Some of my earliest memories are not of comfort or warmth, but of fear. I witnessed domestic violence and substance abuse before I even understood what those words meant.

My childhood was shaped by chaos. My parents’ behaviour led to us losing our home, and instability became my normal. There was no sense of security, no safe place to land. Violence was constant. I experienced extreme physical abuse, living in an environment where fear was part of everyday life. The emotional environment was just as damaging. There was no protection, no guidance only survival.

Then came another layer of trauma that would shape the rest of my life. I was sexually abused by multiple perpetrators. Two of them are now in prison, but justice does not erase what happened. The abuse resulted in pregnancy something no child should ever have to face.

 It left a permanent mark on how I see the world, myself, and others.

When I finally spoke out, I wasn’t protected in the way I should have been. Instead, I was disbelieved, pushed aside, and labelled. I became the “black sheep” isolated from my own family. The very people who should have stood beside me turned away. That rejection stayed with me.

In 2001, I was taken into foster care under the local authority, where I remained for years, into my late teens and early adulthood. While it removed me from one form of danger, it did not erase the trauma I carried. I was already shaped by everything I had lived through.

School was no escape. I experienced extreme bullying throughout both primary and secondary school. Instead of finding safety or belonging, I felt different, targeted, and alone. It reinforced everything I had already come to believe that I didn’t fit, that I wasn’t safe, that I had to endure.

As I grew older, the impact of everything I had experienced began to show in deeper ways. My life was surrounded by mental illness and loss. Suicide was not something distant it was something that tore through my family. Grief, trauma, and fear became constant companions.

There were many times I felt like life wasn’t worth living. The weight of everything the abuse, the loss, the rejection felt overwhelming.

I also experienced homelessness not once, but twice. That feeling of having nowhere to go, no stability, no security, only added to the belief that life was uncertain and fragile.

Relationships were difficult. When your foundations are built on trauma, trust does not come easily. I experienced breakdowns, loss, and emotional pain in relationships.

Over time, I was diagnosed with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). It explained what I had been living with for years the constant fight-or-flight state, the anxiety, the hypervigilance, the emotional overwhelm. Every day can still feel like a challenge.

My trauma has also impacted my physical health. I have struggled with ongoing health issues, something deeply connected to the emotional pain I have carried. I am now facing further health challenges and the reality that I must make changes to protect my future health. This is another battle - one that is both physical and emotional.

For years, I felt unheard not just by family, but by systems that were meant to protect me. I fought for recognition, for justice, and for someone to listen.

When it came to compensation, I was awarded a very small amount for the first offender and nothing more for the abuse I suffered at the hands of four perpetrators and for a childhood taken, for trauma that will last a lifetime. It is not about money — it never has been. This does not fix what was done to me. It does not undo the damage. It was survival money to help me bring up my child. And even through further claims and attempts to seek justice, I have felt let down by the system .

But things have also begun to change.

I have received support from RASASH, NHS mental health services and Victim Support  — people who have listened, supported, and helped me begin to process what I have been through.

I have also been supported by Police Scotland and by the Procurator Fiscal team. For the first time, I have felt heard. Believed. Supported.

That has started to restore something I thought I had lost — a sense of faith in the system.

Because one thing I now know, and want others to understand, is this:

Sexual violence is not always what people think it looks like. It exists across a wide spectrum from what is openly recognised, to what is minimised or overlooked. But at its core, it always comes back to the same thing: consent, respect, and choice.

And no matter what happened, no matter the circumstances, no matter how someone responded — the responsibility never lies with the person who was harmed.

Survivors are never to blame.

Believing survivors matters. Being listened to matters. Because how people respond can shape whether someone breaks or begins to heal.

Despite everything, I kept going.

I went on to raise a child — determined to break cycles and give them the stability and care I never had. I pursued education, attending college and university, pushing forward even when it felt impossible.

Today, I work in social care, supporting others who face challenges. It is more than just a job it is purpose. I use my lived experience to help others feel seen, heard, and supported.

There are still days where everything feels heavy. Days where the past feels close. Healing is not linear.

But I am still here.

For years, I felt like I didn’t matter. Now I know I do.

I am not just a victim of what happened to me.

I am a survivor.

And my voice — after everything — will be heard.

 

If you’ve been impacted by this story and need support, you are welcome to reach out to our Support Line.